Remove your Shoes, Please. Dentist at Work.

We've been here six months and it's time to get our teeth cleaned. Deb got a recommendation from her beauty shop owner so I called to get an appointment. The receptionist immediately thought I was a dental tourist, asking when I would be coming to India. When I said we lived in Banjara Hills, I got an appointment in less than four days! Wow, try THAT with our Jersey dentists. Four months is more like it and that is only for the "high value" patients (read: we're gonna get a shitload of money off THIS one).

We had a misstep on our way as we stopped at the Smilin Dental Clinic rather than the Smiline Dental Hospital. One letter made a whole lot of difference. We finally arrived a couple of minutes late, walked up to the first floor and were immediately met with a sign: Remove your shoes. OK, I'm not certain what the purpose is, but we did it. There had to have been about 40 pairs of shoes lying about. My first inclination was "it's a busy clinic". The office is located in a relatively new building, the decor is modern, almost like the offices in "Nip Tuck". We pad on in and tell the receptionists that we had an appointment. We were given the perfunctory forms to fill out. The lighting in the reception area was soothingly dimmed (again, read: I can't read the frigging form that has to be in 4 point type!!!!). The receptionist who handed us the forms to fill out told us it would be 200 rupees for a consultation. When I said we had appointments for cleaning, a flurry of activity started. Deb asked how much the cleaning would be and now, the receptionist said 800 rupees. That ain't bad! $17 USD??? Slap me silly.

then we were guided to a waiting room that was empty, enclosed, and air conditioned where as about half the owners of the other shoes in the stairwell were seated in a cramped space.

We wait for a couple minutes and then one of the receptionists comes in wearing a pair of sandals and as Deb was feeling slightly uncomfortable barefoot in a public place (she doesn't walk around barefoot in our apartment)she asked him why he can wear sandals and we have to be barefoot. Humiliated, he sputtered something about how his were special for some of the staff and he immediately took his off and nudged them over to me and then barked at one of the cleaning women who were also wearing flipflops and she took hers off and gave them to Deb.

Deb was finally called and left the room. I was amusing myself with a copy of the special gala addition of a magazine that is something of a mix of gossip and fashion of the Indian film stars. It followed the same format of fashion magazines in the US: don't let the editorial get in the way of the advertising. You could have Shah Rukh Khan modeling some Indian designer's clothes for a fashion spread on one page and be in an ad for some other product on the facing page. You get light-headed reading a magazine like this. Of course, that's better than having the little bit of vomit come into your throat from reading an e-magazine article about Lindsey Lohan has straightened out her life and jail was the best thing that happened to her. Butttttttttttt, I digress.

When Deb returned to our semi-private waiting room, she let me know that the cleaning uses a water jet and it gives you the same sensation as being waterboarded. She was right. There was a constant mist on your face while the dentist was cleaning. I got done and was escorted back into our semi-private waiting room again. We waited for about another 5 minutes before another woman came in with the results of our cleaning which said that Deb needed some additional work but I was done. Then we went to pay up and check out when the price of the cleaning went from 800 rupees to 1200 rupees. That required another 10 minutes of head bobbing, intelligible discussion that they don't know what the price will really be until they clean. We had additional tarter that required extra work. We decided not to argue. Yes, it was a 50% increase in price but that meant the cleaning went from $17 to $25.

We've had some eccentric dentists in our time, but this experience was a notch above. Talk to you soon.